song into poem: pilot

Ravyn Lenae’s “Bird’s Eye” Cover Art

a few deep breaths in before taking the wheel

i feel like counting the stars

to help bury the words i’m afraid to hear.

maybe i’m too anxious

the way my chest tightens when i call for help

wary of pretenses

the way your mouth is sharp yet your heart is blind.

it’s unfortunate to swallow secrets

that are tasteless like sugarless tea

not born free

i pay a fee with my mental

forced to learn to drive

but i’ve walked a thousand miles

to know that God will make sense of my life.

i don’t know where to start

discovering pieces in pieces remains an art

toes on tiled floors and no sign of grass

i wonder if heaven is too far.

a full-time resident in my head

casual pleasantness when there’s calm in my bed

i’m just a pilot roaming

losing people and i start soaring.

now you see a pilot soaring

while there are memories worth mourning

just a pilot roaming

hoping to feel the light the next morning.